The routine of house of arrest is becoming normal. Wake up, look at how much the national case count is up, see how much the stock market is down, and check my temperature.
I felt guilty using Instacart
I paid someone else to absorb my risk of getting COVID-19. As an extra benefit to this risk transfer, I didn’t have to get off the couch for my groceries.
People are still dating
I video chatted one of my single buddies and I caught him in the middle of a date. It was a first date. I’m sure magical things happened after I got off the call.
Important dating safety tip: Orgies with over ten people are not allowed at this time per the guidance of Dr. Fauci of the White House.
James Belushi movies are now appealing
It is more of an exhaustion of available choices leaving the only thing left to watch is K-9, Mr. Destiny, About Last Night, and Taking Care of Business.
Porky-pigging while working is happening
I haven’t done this, because I still have some dignity left. You know pants are optional for many working from home people.
March is a write-off
I flipped the family calendar to April on March 20th. I’m guessing I’ll be turning to May sometime this week.
When did everyone discover the fun of being outdoors?
I think nothing of a cracking out a solid 5 mile run when it is snowing. Now everyone is walking around like it is summer time and clogging up my sidewalks.
Avoiding people has its advantages
No more idiots cutting you off in traffic, small stalk with acquaintances, or a need to dress to impress.
I tried isolating from isolating
The infighting in our house was so unmanageable, my youngest son and I pitched a tent in the backyard for a quiet night’s sleep in 28-degree weather.
My hair is getting long
I’m looking like a hippie. It hasn’t been this long since I decided to try out the grunge look in high school-which lasted all of six weeks. Maybe this time I’ll go for shoulder length hair like Mark Wahlberg in the movie Rock Star. Plus, I’ll be saving gobs of money on haircuts.
I’m sleeping more
With no commute, I’m sleeping an extra 60-90 minutes a night leading me to believe I’ve been depriving myself of sleep for 20+ years.