After five months of sub-zero weather, half of America breaks out the placards and megaphones to fire up chanting and rioting all in the name of fighting the perceived wrongs in the world. Welcome to the start of the ‘2015 Protest Season’. Do the three months around the winter solstice yield a time of peace and tranquility void of all inequalities? Or was everyone in preparation mode? As soon as outdoor seating stars showing up at restaurants, everyone thinks they are Che Guevera rallying the masses to force change via their right to assemble.
The Protestors Are So Impassioned, But Why?
“Exercising their freedom of speech” is the common response. When I ride my Schwin around the block, I don’t get a fancy yellow shirt for winning a stage of the Tour de France like that drug addict Lance Armstrong. I just sit my butt in the couch and finish watching The Talk while I tell myself I am a winner. I only exercised my right to work out. No one else notices the results and no one else cares. Just like no one says to a protestor, “Great job waving that sign and avoiding the tear gas.” Congratulations to that protestor who showed everyone that they are a moron for missing a day of work so they could get out and exercise their first amendment right.
What Are They Fighting For?
Armed with poster board, crayons, loudspeakers and the occasional bass drum, these do-gooders take to the streets. They have their chants, their leaders, and their human chains. I am sympathetic to many of the protests, but for many I don’t see what they are trying to accomplish:
- Treatment of prisoners in Guantanamo Bay—If you want one of these lunatics to bunk up in your spare bedroom, go ahead. Please invite them to your second home in Antarctica—not to my homeland.
- ”Save the Earth”/Greenpeace hippies: I don’t think the earth is really listening. It has been here for five billion years. 400 people singing “We are the World” is not going to prevent global warming.
- Any group with an acronym instead of a proper name—If your own protestors don’t know what the letters stand for, no one else does either.
- Most PETA protests—If a new eye cream is going to cause a nasty rash, I would like the monkey get it first.
- 1% Protests (Occupy Wall Street)—If they succeeded in removing the 1%, wouldn’t the next 1.0101% become the new 1%?
Pick your cause, post your bail money in advance, and enjoy the season.