Letters to Corporate: Anheuser Busch

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Coming at your senses sideways.
Coming at your senses sideways.

I have been a legal, and ethical, user of your products for almost fifteen years.  Despite the recent surge of new craft beers in the marketplace, I have remained loyal to your products for their mass produced, consistent, and predictable flavor.

Normally, when I enter the liquor aisle of the grocery store, I quickly grab your flagship product and head to the check out.  Over the past weekend, I noticed a case of “New; Bud Light Lime Straw-ber-Rita; Margarita with a Twist.”  Could it be possible that my favorite, formerly US owned, alcohol manufacture had somehow bottled the classic island drink most appreciated while sitting at a swim-up bar in an all-inclusive resort?  Without hesitation, I tossed the case of Straw-ber-Rita in my cart and headed to the register.

For legal reasons, I had to wait until I was home before tearing into the case of Straw-ber-Rita.  On the drive home, I prepared myself for the mental escape to a place where buffets and palm trees dominate the landscape.  I cracked open the top of the small eight ounce container and tasted the beverage.  My throat convulsed due to the carbonation level of the beverage.  Out of respect for your company, I won a battle against my gag reflex triggered by the horrid drink I had just consumed.  Would Adolphus Busch and Eberhard Anheuser have approved of this vile concoction?

Upon regaining my composure, I reexamined the can and box of the Straw-ber-Rita for any indications of the high carbonation level contained in this product.  I wanted to blame myself for my lapse in preparation for this cocktail, but I could not find any signs that the company that brought tasty products such as Bud Light, Bud Ice, and Bud Light Platinum to market had mutilated the staple vacation drink.  My mind raced with options:  Do I force myself to consume the rest of the case out of deference to your company or throw the rest of the case out with Monday’s trash?

This letter is not written to antagonize your company.  It is written so that Anheuser-Busch is aware that you have an unsatisfied consumer.  I will continue to enjoy your flagship product, but I will be leery of trying new products from your company with sales dependent on allusions spawned from brilliant marketing.

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